Netflix Customers: A Rant Against the Ranters

In July 2011, Netflix, the internet-based DVD delivery/online streaming service largely responsible for crushing Blockbuster, announced there would be a price hike up to 60% for some subscribers. Many of the company’s 25 million subscribers cancelled their membership in protest, causing a PR disaster and Netflix’s stock to plummet at the time. In September, CEO Reed Hastings sent an email to subscribers apologizing for the price increase; but rather than cancelling the increase, Hastings announced Netflix would be split into two companies for efficiency and customer satisfaction. Netflix would still remain as the streaming option, but Qwikster would be created for the DVD delivery service. After more public backlash, backlash citing confusion and inconvenience patronizing two separate cites, Netflix decided to abandon proceedings for the idea. What follows is a brief rant aimed at Netflix customers…

So Netflix raised prices. And? On what planet is it Netflix’s key responsibility to remain loyal to customers rather than make money?

Reed Hastings (a made-up surfer name if there ever was one) is not your friend, much like Steve Jobs was not your friend. The closest they come in contact with the general public is when their secretaries are under their desk. The American public thinks Reed’s job is to keep them happy. Wrong, Reed’s job is to keep the stockholders happy. If he doesn’t, the yacht he plans on buying is going to lose a level. If any of the people citing disloyalty and morality as their chief complaints were in Hastings’ position, they would take similar action to increase revenue, unless they are the ultimate moralists.*

*In which case, an ultimate moralist would never rise to CEO of a major corporation.

If he's going to be fired for anything, it should be because he's holding "A Sound of Thunder" disc and smiling at the same time

 

 I may sound like Mr. Capitalist and The Man, but I think I’m just being rational. So Netflix costs you $20/month instead of the previous $15/month now, right? Ok, think of how often you blow $5 in a month. “Super Size me? Yes please!” ($1). “Yeah I guess I’ll donate $1 to the children’s hospital even though I don’t want to but I don’t want to look like a bad person…stupid movie theater” ($2). “This gum has two flavors in one stick?! I must have!” ($3). “Meh, one more dance won’t hurt” ($45).

See, stuff like this happens every month. Netflix is trying to make money and survive as a company; we’re the ones being fast and loose with our spending money.

“But Andrew, it’s a tough economy!” cries the Greek choir I made up.

True, the economy sucks, but Netflix is also a great way to save money. If you’re a person that watches a decent amount of movies, then simply save them for Netflix release. So let’s say you’re going to see the new Ryan Gosling movie.** Unless you’re one of THOSE people that attends movies by yourself, that saves $20 right there, not to mention on snacks that we won’t be able to resist because the popcorn smell is intoxicating and Sour Patch Kids were ordained by God as his candy of choice (“Just 50 cents to upgrade to a medium container of sugar water? Sure, why not” ($45.50)). Even if you eliminate going to the movies one time a month, and save that movie for Netflix, the subscription already pays for itself. Now, do that 4 times per month, and Netflix starts to look like an amazing bargain even with the newly inflated price.

**You know, the one where he’s really attractive and the lead actress wants to disrobe whenever she sees him because, you know, he’s Gosling.

Insert inappropriate joke using "Gosling," "women," and "streaming"

  

And if the cost is still too steep, then drop the streaming option. The movies suck anyway. For every Up-caliber title you might find in the not-so-extensive library, you’re going to find 8 different Ernest Goes to Camp spin-offs (Ernest goes to Cerritos AutoSquare, anyone?). I get it, streaming movies to your TV is cool and new, but it’s still raw. And unless you’ll watch anything the TV tells you to watch, give Netflix some time to gather better licenses for their streaming product.

RIP Ernest

As for the Qwikster thing, yeah it was probably a bad idea.***It doesn’t make sense to take two services that were previously available on one website and split them up into two different websites, accounts, credit card charges, etc. But then again, what are we complaining about? Having 2 separate accounts?! On 2 websites?! How primitive!

***It’s also a stupid name. It sounds like something this creature would use to self-medicate.

It’s probable you have at least 10 (bare minimum; and yes, Mr. Skin counts) accounts and passwords floating around cyberspace (you were probably directed to this blog through Facebook (1 account), which to sign up for you need an email account (2 accounts)). What’s one more? And don’t give me this crap about confusion. Chances are, if you’re trying to stream movies through your Wii into your 56” Sony, you’re tech savvy enough to know what website is the streaming service and which one isn’t. If you can miraculously compartmentalize your different online credit card/bank accounts, Netflix will be a piece of cake.

I might sound like a corporate shill, but really, I’m just a person that sees no problems with Netflix’s actions the past 3 months. I get annoyed hearing the complainers that like complaining for the sake of complaining. I’d rather they raise prices and survive than keep prices stagnant and crumble. It’s a service I’ve used extensively for 3 years. It’s convenient, reliable, and the DVD selection is 2^nd to none.

I’ve read a lot of backlash from disgruntled former subscribers, exclaiming that Netflix will crumble amongst its own avarice. But this is only an exercise in naiveté. Let’s break this down simply: say Netflix has 25 million subscribers that pay $1/month, but now they pay $5/month. So Netflix’s earnings have increased from $25 million to $125 million per month. But then with the price changes, 1 million seething people cancel their subscriptions and declare that the public has won and Netflix will falter into nothingness bwahahahahahaha. Ok, so there’s 24 million subscribers paying $5/month still, meaning Netflix’s profits are $120 million, when they were initially $25 million before the price hikes. Netflix isn’t faltering like the doomsayers predicted; it’s thriving.    

Now, I’m no economist and that was a very simple thought experiment. But Netflix’s apologies and Hastings’ emails are nothing more than a PR stunt. So when Reed smokes a bowl with Sage, Sky, and his other surfer buddies in Malibu after a long day in the water, he isn’t lamenting his company’s downfall. Rather, he’s envisioning how big how many levels his yacht should have. And he for damn sure doesn’t care about his customers nor think of them in terms of anything other than money. I know I would do the same thing if I were in his position. And if you still think cancelling your subscription will be an ample form of protest, then Hastings would suggest you don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.