$100,000 Worth of Invasion of Privacy

Today is the last day of arguably the greatest NBA regular season of all time, and certainly of my lifetime. We saw LeBron James go from universally beloved to despised as fast as one can say “South Beach.” We saw the Oklahoma City Thunder go from fun small market story to legitimate powerhouse behind the continued superstar development of Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook, along with the addition of rugged center Kendrick Perkins, a guy who looks like he sprinkles his morning cereal with dead bunny rabbits. We also saw Derrick Rose run away with the argument for Who’s the Best Point Guard as he dominated every night in leading the Bulls to a position they haven’t been since Michael Jordan retired (the 2^nd time he retired, that is): atop the Eastern Conference.

However, instead of the focus being on the last day of a phenomenal regular season as teams vied for better playoff positioning, today became about a word.

During Tuesday night’s much-needed victory over the San Antonio Spurs, Lakers’ guard Kobe Bryant, frustrated with a technical foul call, directed a gay slur toward referee Bennie Adams (none of the reports I’ve read say what the word in question was, but you and I know both know what it was). Unfortunately for Kobe, his action was caught on television by TNT cameras. This prompted TNT analyst Steve Kerr to proclaim that TNT “might wanna take the cameras off of him right now, for the children watching from home.”

The controversy of this outburst spilled over into today with the news of Kobe’s insensitivity overshadowing even the positive MRI results from Lakers center Andrew Bynum (Bynum re-injured his chronically hurt right knee against the Spurs). Kobe was eventually, and rightfully so, levied with a $100,000 fine by NBA commissioner David Stern, a penalty that amounts to us putting $5 in a swear jar.

Kobe’s use of the word is obviously inexcusable. It is unfortunate that the word “gay’ or any of its derivatives have become synonymous with “stupid” or “lame,” particularly in the lexicons of self-proclaimed red blooded males. This, however, does not make Kobe homophobic, but simply makes him unlucky.

Myself being a former high school male, I would be lying if I said I never threw around gay slurs. This isn’t something I’m proud of but, as they say, it is what it is. I only hope I never offended one in using it. And trust me, I’m not the only one; in high school, gay slurs are about as common as complaining about homework (maybe the two are even combined: “Ah man, homework is so gay;” I’m not kidding). Again, this doesn’t make it right, but it is the reality of current verbal communication.

Unlike Kobe, though, I was fortunate enough to never be on national TV when going through my slurring fits. Nor is anyone else reading this post. Nor does anyone else reading this post understand what it’s like to have all their actions dissected to the nth degree. I cannot comprehend what it must feel like to get in a fight with my girlfriend, then have the news of the fight blow up on Twitter and then have rumors swirling on TMZ about how we are going to break up and then have Access Hollywood ponder my next romantic endeavor. I don’t get that treatment, and I’m lucky for it.

Kobe was a victim of circumstance on Tuesday night. His team had been playing like crap for a week. His team was playing like crap against a Spurs team resting their 3 best players. Bynum had just gotten hurt and the uncertainty of the injury was undoubtedly on Kobe’s mind. He just received what he felt was an unjust technical foul and let slip a word I can almost guarantee you wasn’t one of the 5 worst things he said to someone during the game, given the intense trash talking nature of the NBA (on the replay he appears he actually mutters the slur to himself, but that is neither here nor there).

We expect athletes to be some higher species, capable of superior physical abilities while also controlling their emotions. We want them to care, but not too much. We criticize guys like Garret Anderson for not showing enough emotion, but then hate guys like J.R. Smith, who acts like he just slept with Kim Kardashian every time he makes a 3. But we forget that they are in fact human, and we act shocked when they slip up in a moment of intense stress, in a moment where they are displaying their rawest emotions. I imagine that like me, you would not want millions of people to see you in your most vulnerable and pissed off state.

The counter argument would be that celebrities and athletes are held to some higher standard because they have been blessed to get paid for their immense (and in demand) talents. Kids watch sports, ya know, and they are liable to pick up Kobe’s bad language. This may be true, but it’s also not Kobe’s responsibility to watch his mouth every time he gets hammered on the way to the basket. If the boom microphones catch it, then so be it. In that case, the blame should rest with the network for televising inappropriate material. But see, we crave this limited access. The invention of HDTV exemplifies this desire. We want to get right next to the players and experience what they experience, but we also have a double standard where we want our athletic heroes (who, quite frankly, could not care less about you and I) to act like perfect gentlemen, even though we are the ones invading their realm.

If Hall of Fame baseball player and noted racist Ty Cobb were around today, he would be suspended every other game for the things he shouted to fans and opposing players (and maybe even teammates if they were of different skin color). Yet, Cobb is revered as one of the greatest pure baseball players in history. And why is there so little ill will towards him? Because he played 100 years ago and guys like Ric Bucher, who never saw a bottle of hairspray he didn’t like, never went on Sports Center interpreting what Cobb meant by calling a young black fan the “N” word.

In 1993, Charles Barkley led an infamous campaign where he claimed he should not be viewed as a role model. He underwent much criticism for this. Though he was probably more arrogant in the proceedings than he should have been, his sentiments largely rang true. He didn’t understand why he should change his behavior because some snot-nosed kids liked him. He viewed his job as one where he rebounds the hell out of the ball and dunks on people. And that’s it. He’s not some diplomat or religious prophet, he’s a basketball player, with just as many faults as you and I.

Was it regrettable that Kobe said what he did? Of course, and I understand why Joe Solmonese, president of Human Rights Campaign, spoke against Kobe and his casual use of a word that causes pain and emotional torment for millions. Is it regrettable when I lose my cool and say things I shouldn’t? Of course, and I hate when I let it happen. But does that make Kobe and I and everyone else evil and homophobic?

Or does it just make us human?